Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside.
Where do fish keep their money? In the riverbank
Why is it so windy inside an arena? All those fans.
My husband and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met.
Remember, the best angle to approach a problem from is the "try" angle.
Why do bears have hairy coats? Fur protection.
I’ve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it’s Hans free.
How many seconds are in a year?
12.
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd - etc
How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
When I left school, I passed every one of my exams with the exception of Greek Mythology. It always was my achilles elbow
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.
I went to the doctor today and he told me I had type A blood but it was a type O.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
My friend said to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "no it doesn't"
Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.
There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
Where do hamburgers go to dance? The meat-ball.
Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?
They have no hands to knock on the door.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
Why is there always a gate around cemeteries? Because people are always dying to get in.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts.
Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.
How does a dyslexic poet write? Inverse.
I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my Trail Mix.
